Joss Whedon doesn't leave stuff out

Everyone's been posting about instances of feminism in Buffy and Carmilla, especially debating whether Carmilla is really a feminist character. I concede that an argument can be made for both sides. However, at the risk of beating a dead horse, I want to talk less on the apparent feminism the Buffy and Willow display, and recall our attention to the men in Buffy. Although most instances in the successive seasons feature the women in positions of power and savior, the men of the seasons aren't to be counted out. Particularly later in the seasons, Xander's character is forced to confront more than once the fact that his friends all have super powers of some kind, whether physical strength, magic, or extensive knowledge, Xander was clearly seen as an inherent part of the affectionately named "Scooby gang." There are a few episodes in which Xander gets an opportunity to showcase his courage and secret smarts. When circumstances call for his friends' strengths and he becomes a bystander, he shows his courage in allowing others to always stand in the spotlight. Being ordinary in a group of extraordinaries proves throughout the show to be difficult, but by the end Xander has developed the grace to accept his secondary position, and even finds a way to use it - being outside the spotlight, Xander tends to see things more clearly and objectively.
But at the risk of forgetting about feminism and this particular episode, "Inca Mummy Girl," Xander does at first play more of the oblivious, love-struck damsel in distress. But not to down-play him, he shows his salt at the end, protecting those he loves and trusts above all else, however he can. Also in Carmilla, the men prove to be strong, protective, heroic types. The issue I often have with the feminism "fad" (if I may be so bold as to assert the idea that feminism often teeters on the brink of fad and sometimes spills over) is that it totally downplays the role of men, focusing solely on women. Granted, this is not always the case, of course. Men in general are physically the stronger sex, biologically programmed to protect females, those who perpetuate the human species. Thus the role they play, especially in Carmilla should not be looked down upon, especially when one takes into consideration the time period Carmilla deals with. In Buffy, the only men that stick around through the plot (Xander, Giles with his dark past, Angel and Spike) are those that can keep up with the super-powered women. I feel that in celebrating the feminist representations in Buffy, which as a woman I am pleased to see, we must not forget the role of men and the juxtaposition that their traditional sex-oriented roles provide for the feminism.